Friday, March 11, 2011

A Night With The Widows

Last night we had the pleasure of heading back to Chettappa Garden, Jeevanahalli to spend some time with the widows in HHI's old and young widows empowerment program. We are able to provide them with a small monthly stipend and a snack as well as counseling if they desire it. I had the opportunity to hand out their allocation and meet each woman. The ages range from very young mothers to elderly women, and each graciously accept our assistance with hope in their hearts. The turnout was somewhat low at this meeting, but the allowance was left with Jyothi's brother-in-law so that the women who were sick or otherwise unable to attend could still come to collect their money when they could. Last night was especially exciting as we were able to provide the widows with a sewing machine funded by Big Family Mission. The women will now be able to us this as a tool to widen their employment options. It is a very humbling and incredible experience to be able to spend time with these women, as well as be a part of an organization that is so dedicated to helping the helpless and loving the unloved.


A widow praying over the new sewing machine

Trying out the new machine!

Thanks Big Family Mission!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The One Month Mark

I have been living in India for one month now and can honestly say that I have learned an incredible amount, and if I were to leave today, already my life would be changed forever. The things that used to dominate my thoughts seem to have grown so insignificant, and my patience and tolerance have grown immensely. Not only have I discovered the ins and outs of a new and intriguing culture, but I have learned to be resourceful and well-acclimated to a new and completely different environment, all while building and strengthening my faith and spirituality. They say that children can be the best teachers, and I for one can attest to that. These children are incredible, I cannot say that enough. When faced with adversity, they rise and overcome with smiles on their faces. They are stronger than I ever could have been at their age, and at times I think, stronger than I am now.

Sometimes when you come to a place that is not socially, politically, or economically on the same page as where you are from, it is easy to want to push your ideals on someone else, or to think that the way you live would suit them much better. But, just as someone who is used to perching on a porcelain throne would be uncomfortable squatting over a hole, the person who is used to a pit-toilet or ditch would feel awkward and out of place sitting on a cold, hard seat and wonder, 'What am I supposed to do with this roll of paper?' When faced with these situations, you must have an open mind and an open heart, accept their way of living as if it were your own, and realize that these things that seem to be so different are really quite analogous. One of the best pieces of advice I have ever gotten was to remember that all of our struggles are relative. They are relative to who we are, where we live, how we grew up. It would be ignorant of me to feel pity for the person who doesn't have a western toilet with a seat and flush, when in reality that is not at all what they want or need.

Not to say that this hasn't been a high hurdle to leap. There have been times when I want to say 'You know there wouldn't be so much trash and filth everywhere if people would just use a dust bin!' or show them how a spoon scoops up rice really well and keeps your hands clean at the same time. It has been difficult not to cry out when a child is smacked (out of affection or discipline) because that is just the way they do it in this culture. When Nina asked Benny, 'Do mom's beat their kids?' he replied, 'Yes, it's for joke! That is illegal in your place right?' The first time I saw a child get struck, tears filled my eyes, quickly cascading down my cheeks as I turned away. When we insisted the kids keep their hands to themselves, they looked at us bewildered and didn't quite understand why we wouldn't tolerate hitting. Here, a smack is a sign of affection between friends or from adult to child, and a way of keeping the kids, and each other, in line (I have seen older children spank and scold the younger ones and often hear shouts of 'Auntie!! Beating!' when this is happening.) I don't like it, and I'm not comfortable with it, but who am I to walk in and try to change everything they have ever known?

I have learned to solve problems unconventionally, such as what do you do when a toddler who's not wearing a diaper or underwear has diarrhea in his sleep in a place where they don't use wipes or flushing toilets? (The answer is get a bucket, thank God there are drains in the bathroom floor, and pray that Amma wakes up to help.) I have learned that kids who will share their food and candy still don't like to share the spotlight, and that it doesn't matter where he's from, a teenage boy will check himself out in every reflective surface he comes across. But more than anything, I have learned and will continue to learn, the great depths of love. The depth of God's love, the love that we must reflect to others in this life. Love that is unconditional, unwavering, and pure, love that teaches others how to love, how to give love, and how to receive love. I believe that love is something we will never be able to comprehend to its full capacity, something that is ever-growing, ever-changing, unfolding before us like a rare majestic flower....something that is bigger than all of us combined.

But I do understand it enough to know that none of us can live without it. And no one should ever have to.

Monday, March 7, 2011

The soul is healed by being with children.
-Fyodor Dostoevsky

Sunday, March 6, 2011

New Hope's New Children!

We are excited to welcome three new children to the New Hope family! Siblings Thomas, Joseph, and Monica arrived yesterday and will be staying with us for at least one year. Their mother has taken a job in Delhi in North India and cannot take them with her. Their father's whereabouts are unknown, but their grandmother lives in the area and we are hoping that she will visit from time to time and continue a relationship with the children while they are staying here. It is important for such young children (Monica is the youngest at 4 years old) to maintain a sense of family unity, especially when separated. Though they don't speak much english, they appear to be happy and seem to be adjusting well. I am really looking forward to getting to know these three!

Thomas, Joseph, and Monica

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Catch Ya Later Cooties

Look Auntie, no lice!
Nithin sporting his new louse-free buzz cut!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Nits.

Before I came to India I was warned of the well-known issue of head lice and ordered to 'wear your babushka!' and tie my hair back. Only now am I realizing just how bad it actually is. What I thought in the beginning were large chunks of dandruff standing out from the dark strands of the children's hair, I have come to find out have been nits. It is not unusual to see crouching children picking through each others hair pulling out 'things' (that you are really hoping aren't what you know they are) like little monkeys looking for a snack.

We had purchased several rounds of lice shampoo at the town chemist and were waiting for an opportune time to sterilize our girls (and Nithin.) When yesterday little Nishmitha pulled a tiny black bug from her head and handed it to me, I thought we have no time to waste! Luckily today was a school holiday and a perfect opportunity. You'd think the kids would be bummed to hear, 'No school! Now lets spend the day stripping you of lice!' but they were actually excited. I guess when you live everyday with bugs in your hair, the chance to get rid of them is a celebration. So while I bathed and lathered them with anti-lice treatment in the bathroom, Nina sat outside with a bucket and comb picking out lice and nits one by one. Fortunately for us, most of the girls have short hair as a bad bout of lice a few months ago warranted a head shaving all around. Angel on the other hand has longer hair and is completely infested. We soon realized that it's going to take a few rounds of this. On the bright side, since lice is just a part of life around here, the kids don't really get embarrassed when they are on display getting the once over (or twice, or three times) with a fine toothed comb.
Needless to say, I have been paranoid about my own long locks being contaminated by these nasty little creatures. Though I have had Nina check my head repeatedly and she assures me I am clean, I still have the phantom itch. We have instituted the 'no children in our room' policy and will probably treat ourselves with the parasite poison just to be on the safe side.
Bucket-O-Lice


Manifest Destiny

All life is a manifestation of the spirit, the manifestation of love.

(pillowcase created by the wonderful and talented Elizabeth Seghezzi)

God who is eternally complete, who directs the stars, who is the master of fates, who elevates man from his lowliness to Himself, who speaks from the cosmos to every single human soul, is the most brilliant manifestation of the goal of perfection.
-Alfred Adler

1.3.11

Rabbit Rabbit!