The One Month Mark

I have been living in India for one month now and can honestly say that I have learned an incredible amount, and if I were to leave today, already my life would be changed forever. The things that used to dominate my thoughts seem to have grown so insignificant, and my patience and tolerance have grown immensely. Not only have I discovered the ins and outs of a new and intriguing culture, but I have learned to be resourceful and well-acclimated to a new and completely different environment, all while building and strengthening my faith and spirituality. They say that children can be the best teachers, and I for one can attest to that. These children are incredible, I cannot say that enough. When faced with adversity, they rise and overcome with smiles on their faces. They are stronger than I ever could have been at their age, and at times I think, stronger than I am now.

Sometimes when you come to a place that is not socially, politically, or economically on the same page as where you are from, it is easy to want to push your ideals on someone else, or to think that the way you live would suit them much better. But, just as someone who is used to perching on a porcelain throne would be uncomfortable squatting over a hole, the person who is used to a pit-toilet or ditch would feel awkward and out of place sitting on a cold, hard seat and wonder, 'What am I supposed to do with this roll of paper?' When faced with these situations, you must have an open mind and an open heart, accept their way of living as if it were your own, and realize that these things that seem to be so different are really quite analogous. One of the best pieces of advice I have ever gotten was to remember that all of our struggles are relative. They are relative to who we are, where we live, how we grew up. It would be ignorant of me to feel pity for the person who doesn't have a western toilet with a seat and flush, when in reality that is not at all what they want or need.

Not to say that this hasn't been a high hurdle to leap. There have been times when I want to say 'You know there wouldn't be so much trash and filth everywhere if people would just use a dust bin!' or show them how a spoon scoops up rice really well and keeps your hands clean at the same time. It has been difficult not to cry out when a child is smacked (out of affection or discipline) because that is just the way they do it in this culture. When Nina asked Benny, 'Do mom's beat their kids?' he replied, 'Yes, it's for joke! That is illegal in your place right?' The first time I saw a child get struck, tears filled my eyes, quickly cascading down my cheeks as I turned away. When we insisted the kids keep their hands to themselves, they looked at us bewildered and didn't quite understand why we wouldn't tolerate hitting. Here, a smack is a sign of affection between friends or from adult to child, and a way of keeping the kids, and each other, in line (I have seen older children spank and scold the younger ones and often hear shouts of 'Auntie!! Beating!' when this is happening.) I don't like it, and I'm not comfortable with it, but who am I to walk in and try to change everything they have ever known?

I have learned to solve problems unconventionally, such as what do you do when a toddler who's not wearing a diaper or underwear has diarrhea in his sleep in a place where they don't use wipes or flushing toilets? (The answer is get a bucket, thank God there are drains in the bathroom floor, and pray that Amma wakes up to help.) I have learned that kids who will share their food and candy still don't like to share the spotlight, and that it doesn't matter where he's from, a teenage boy will check himself out in every reflective surface he comes across. But more than anything, I have learned and will continue to learn, the great depths of love. The depth of God's love, the love that we must reflect to others in this life. Love that is unconditional, unwavering, and pure, love that teaches others how to love, how to give love, and how to receive love. I believe that love is something we will never be able to comprehend to its full capacity, something that is ever-growing, ever-changing, unfolding before us like a rare majestic flower....something that is bigger than all of us combined.

But I do understand it enough to know that none of us can live without it. And no one should ever have to.