Patience is a virtue.

I am feeling quite frustrated, slightly overwhelmed, and a little bit guilty. I should be excited that there is a new group of children staying down here with us so that we can get to know them better, and I am, but it is harder than I thought it would be. Not only are there twice as many of them, girls and boys, in a tiny space, but the language barrier is higher, and they often try to take advantage of the fact that we can't tell what's going on when there is an issue between them. I find myself struggling to keep my patience as they are not very well behaved, loud, can't keep their hands and feet off each other, fight constantly, and have terrible listening skills. Not to mention the chicken pox!

On the one hand, I see how far we have come with the group we had before. Their english skills have made leaps and bounds, they are polite, respectful, have learned to respect privacy and boundaries (somewhat), and finally understood that we do not tolerate violence. On the other hand, it makes me realize how small of a dent we've made in the big picture. Though being part of a change so small would be worth every moment, it is still frustrating to start from scratch all over again. Sometimes I find myself wishing things would go back to the way they were before, to spend time with our four girls and Nithin, who have really learned to enjoy each other's company and realize that they don't need to compete for our attention. I feel guilty for feeling this way, as these kids need us just as much as they did, more perhaps, but the job is leaving us feeling exhausted and wanting to retreat to our room to hide out. (Though their constant knocking has made that impossible.)

To add insult to injury, it is about 500 degrees here day and night making it difficult to get rest or energy. The power goes out on average at least 5 times a day, rendering the fans inoperable, adding to the heat and giving the mosquitos free reign. School has let out for summer break and the kids are all here, all the time. Though some will go to stay with family for a short time, at the moment this place is a zoo!

When it comes down to it, I have to change my perspective and put myself in their shoes. How would I feel if I were them? Or if these children were my nieces or nephew? Imagining their situation helps me to understand why they act the way they do, but I still sometimes have trouble dealing with the chaos of all of their problems projecting at once.

I am praying for patience and the motivation to stay on my feet and not have a short fuse. These children are all wonderful, they each have their own struggles, and all they want is love and attention. It gets hard when they all want it at the same time, but I have to overcome the overwhelming swarm when I step out of my room and ask for God to give me the grace to deal with it all with a smile on my face and love in my heart.

Patience is a virtue.