Proud Mama

When I first arrived here in Bangalore, Nina and I were assigned four girls to be solely responsible for: Angel, Maria, Nakshathra, Nishmitha (and of course little Nithin has jumped in our mix.) In the beginning I was a little apprehensive about working with Nakshathra. She was quiet, subdued, barely made a peep or smiled, and she just looked so sad. Her backstory was dismal to say the least....the loss of both parents, then her beggar/caretaker grandmother, and after becoming settled here at New Hope, her and her brother were taken by her selfish older sister to live on the streets for a year and care for her own children so that she could work. To top it all off, during our first study session, I learned that though her books were quite advanced, she couldn't read a single word of english. She didn't speak or understand much either.

At first, the task of starting all over with her seemed daunting. I wondered how she had been placed in a class with such advanced work, and how had the teachers not realized she was so lost? I was concerned that she might have a learning disability because she was so far behind her friend Angel. I wondered how she felt in school when she knew nothing of what was going on around her. I worried that she was anxious and overwhelmed and felt uncomfortable or out of place. I was quite bewildered and intimidated with the situation, but with some advice from my wonderful mother who home-schooled me in my early years and taught me to read, as well as some teacher friends, we hit the books, starting with the alphabet, sounds, and small like-sounding words. Slow at first, progress started being made, but you can only hold a child's attention for so long with a boring pen and paper. When the other volunteer Mary came, she brought educational games, first time reading books, and other books we could read to the kids, and the improvement started to quicken. My mom sent flashcards of letters, phonics, sight words, numbers, and math, and both Nakshathra and the younger Nishmitha and Nithin seemed to be really catching on! Nakshathra is no longer just guessing at words, looking up to me for the answer, but really sounding them out and beginning to understand what they mean. We beam like proud mothers when we see her face light up with excitement when she overcomes another obstacle.

A Happy Nakshathra playing a singing game during one of our many daily power outages.

Though last week after a teary encounter with Amma during prayer time, (Amma is the endearing term for grandmother, a woman who lives downstairs with us and helps with cooking and cleaning) we were worried we may have hit a bump in the road. Amma can be tough, and had somewhat mocked her for not being able to read english, and having trouble with her Kannada (her mother tongue) too. Not only were Nina and I shocked to speechlessness at what we were witnessing, we were also worried that it may discourage or derail her learning process. We brought her aside and made sure to let her know how proud we were of her and how far she had come. The next night during prayer time, when usually the Bible reading is done by Angel or Maria, Nakshathra volunteered to read from the english Bible. We were ecstatic! Though it was a slow and stumbling process, she got through a few verses with some help, and her friends clapped and cheered for her accomplishment. The smile on her face and pride in her puffed up chest nearly brought tears to our eyes. Angel turned to me and said, 'Auntie when we came down here [from living upstairs with the others] not one word could she read. And now....!' Then yesterday after school, again Angel came to me to say that during an oral exam that day, their teachers asked how Nakshathra had learned so much so fast. We couldn't contain our excitement! When others notice progress, you really know you are making a difference. To see how proud she is of herself is so heartwarming and encouraging to witness. Not only has she come so far in her studies, but she has really come out of her shell, playing, talking, laughing, cuddling up to us, and even sometimes coming to us when she has problems. She has a habit of going a little off her rocker just around dinner time, or the 'witching hour,' and can often be heard cackling like a hyena, music to our ears.

Though being around my sisters family and kids has prepared me for future motherhood in so many ways, this experience has really helped me to learn to deal with the stickier situations. When I came here I was skilled in diaper changing, potty training, teaching babies to talk, cuddling, feeding, burping, playing, bathing, and many other motherly duties. Now I have been exposed to children who have felt tremendous loss, abandonment, deep sadness, and physical harm. I have learned to teach them when we have no common grounds of communication other than our hands and our hearts. I am amazed at how quickly they can absorb knowledge when they are in a nurturing environment conducive to love and learning, and love of learning.

We still have a long way to go, but if we have made even the littlest impact in one child's life, then this whole experience has been worth it.