George opened with, 'So, do you still want to marry an Indian?' My heart sank. I quickly tried to explain that I never said I wanted to marry an Indian, but rather mentioned in a past conversation that race doesn't matter to me, as long as I'm in love. He took that to mean that I'm shopping for an Indian husband, and he's got the perfect one in mind (so he thinks): his nephew Benny. Benny is a great catch, don't get me wrong, but I hardly know the guy and I'm sorry but that's just not how my system operates. I was caught completely off guard and left nearly speechless, giggling nervously because I honestly didn't know how to respond as George and Jyothi basically proposed to me for their nephew, explaining that the wedding could take place in as soon as the next few months. I tried to keep my eyes from bugging out of my head. I didn't want to offend anyone, and I didn't have a chance to think of a good way to say no, so somewhere along the line I agreed to pray about it, allow them to talk it over with Benny and give him my contact information. I don't know, maybe I blacked out under pressure?
I am the last person that would agree to an arranged marriage. Not that it's exactly arranged, just strongly pressured, and with the best intentions. After sleeping on it and speaking to my parents about the matter, I have realized that I should take this as a compliment. I really am flattered that George and Jyothi love me that much that they desire to have me in their family, one that I would be honored to be a part of, just not quite like this.
In review, I can say that I have adapted pretty smoothly to the major differences in lifestyle here, but this is one that I just can't flow with. I don't want to hurt any one's feelings, especially George who tends to take these sort of things personally, but I also can't throw my future out the window to please someone else.
I'm not sure how I'm going to get out of this one.
Oh my my my my my!!!!! At first, I laughed but then I realized how this is really a serious thing here!
ReplyDeleteWell, I know you haven't asked for any advice or counsel, but let me just put my two cents in here...seeing as I have grown to really love and care about you!
What you can do is sit down with them both (asking first for the Lord's perfect timing) and let them know how truly honored and touched you are that they love you that much and would want to embrace you into their family. And you need them to know that you would never ever hurt them or offend them in any way...However, as you've prayed about it, (I am assuming you have done that!!) you do not sense or feel any confirmation from the Lord that this is indeed the path you are to take. You are not sure yet, after this experience you have had here in India, what plans and future purposes the Lord has for you and until you know that it would be very unfair and unkind to commit to someone when you are not sure that is what the Lord wants you to do..and ofcourse, you will continue to pray about that.
As Christians, I think they would be able to receive that...
Oh Hannah..who would have ever thought that you would be confronted with this?? :) Remember one important thing...The Lord ALWAYS goes before you. He goes before His sheep and leads them out.(John 10)He will give you the right words and make those rough places smooth. Trust Him...
Trust in the Lord will all of your heart...In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He WILL DIRECT YOUR PATH! Proverbs 3
Will be praying for you...Love you much, Mary
Thank you for the advice Mary! I think that is the perfect way to put it....I'm just afraid to bring the matter up again....I keep hoping that if I ignore it it will go away! What a shock this was to me! I laughed at first too until I realized how very serious they were. Not only that, but they would like to get a move on the planning! We will be spending the next few days with George so let's hope that I can get up the nerve to diffuse this situation before it gets out of control. Thank you thank you for those prayers!!
ReplyDeleteMuch Love,
Hannah