And Then There Was One.

Yesterday we had some parents show up unexpectedly to claim their children. Swetha's mother came in the morning to collect her for the remainder of summer break, and during the afternoon nap time, Nithin and Nishmitha's mother arrived. There was a meeting upstairs with George and the other caretakers about whether or not she could take them. The mother of these two is irresponsible and self-centered, and as stated in a previous post, left them here initially because they were a 'hindrance to her happiness.' I can't help but feel guarded and suspicious when she comes, watching her like a hawk, as I have become increasingly protective over these two. After all, we take care of them every day, doing everything a mother does for them from bathing to potty training, hiney wiping, dressing, laundry, feeding, and tucking them in at night. She will show up randomly, fill them full of biscuits and juice, and after 45 minutes or so, casually saunter off as they stand sobbing at the gate. She doesn't get excited to see them, cuddle, play with, or love on them during her visits as one might expect. In the past she has come and refused to see Nithin, only Nishmitha. I don't understand her, and I have to feel pity for her for not knowing what she is missing out on, and for whatever has caused her to treat her own children this way. They are so special and bring delight to anyone they meet, but she can't even look beyond her own selfish desires to see what amazing little creatures she has created. These children are human beings, they need structure, stability, discipline, care, and above all else, love and compassion. They aren't dolls that you can pretend with when you feel like playing the part, and then stick in the toybox when you don't feel like being Mommy anymore.

(above photo: Nishmitha and Nithin goofing around at nap time)

This time she came and wanted to take Nishmitha, and only Nishmitha, home for a week. At the meeting, the caretakers and George told her she could not take just one of her kids, explaining the emotional damage it could cause the already severely distressed Nithin. Finally she accepted and left toting the two smiling children by the hand, excited to finally feel wanted by their mother. I can only imagine what it is like for them at home, and pray that they, especially Nithin, aren't being neglected and are receiving the love that they so desperately need from their mother. I couldn't help but wonder to myself, did she even notice he had a black eye?

And then there was Nakshathra. Poor Nakshathra, the only girl left in the house. I feel sad for her, knowing that all of her friends are off with their families when she doesn't have one. Occasionally her sister will visit, but the last time she took Nakshathra and her brother Ganesh, they were gone for a year, living on the streets acting as nannies for her own children. Due to her selfishness, they missed out on a year of school, a proper home, and much needed physical and emotional nourishment.

Nakshathra jamming out to Loverboy on my ipod. I think she likes it as much as I do!

Nina and I are on a mission to replenish that nourishment in any way we can. She has come leaps and bounds with her english, now reading small books when she barely knew the alphabet a few short months ago. But more importantly, we have smothered her with love and made it our priority to show her how special she really is -- that even if she doesn't have family, she is never alone, that there are so many people who love her, and that we wouldn't have hesitated to come all this way even if she was the only one here. That being said, Nakshathra is about to be spoiled rotten....friendship bracelets, ice cream sundaes, movies, nail polish, crafts, hanging out in our room whenever she wants.... We are going to turn what could be a sad and lonely time for her into one in which she is the center of attention, because when all the other kids get back, there wont be as much of our attention to go around. We go to the boys room often to eat meals, watch movies, play games, or make crafts so she is with the rest of the 'family,' and around other kids.

Nakshathra and her ruby red smile after a make-up session

My goal is to leave here having been a big contributor to the confidence, happiness, and love that we have already begun to see from the once quiet, sad, and subdued Nakshathra. We are making progress and are hopeful and confident that she will continue to flourish and grow through love and learning. That is real nourishment. Now if only we could get some meat on her bones..